Some unfortunate news: Friday’s concert at the Brighton Bar is cancelled due to one of the band members getting bit by this relentless flu bug going around. Much thanks to everyone who emailed me regarding their attendance and ticket inquiries—I’m sure we’ll reschedule in the next, oh let’s say…a year.
Re: The Kid’s disappointment—he was all set to make some magic happen with a special lady friend, but now, the venue for this opportunity is no more. Needless to say, he is devastated since she is, in deed, quite pretty, and let’s face it. The kid deserves some female companionship of the biblical nature.
We are currently sitting in his basement with many cold beers, listening to a mixture of Pink Floyd, The Doors, and Tori Amos. There are lava lamps and blacklights involved. It’s like I’m 17 again except I can drink legally and I’m wiser due to the dramatic, over-extensive, cornucopia of drama that is, in fact, my life.
Today, the Kid and I were at Charlie’s (Kid’s brother / my cousin) painting various rooms and taking more cigarette breaks than paint strokes, but overall, I must say the place is coming together nicely, and with a little love and care, they should have it ready in about, oh let’s say…a year.
Re: Last Night. The Kid and I passed out watching World Trade Center, which, you know, is like, serious subject matter and whatnot, but in the end, it’s pretty much Nicholas Cage and that dude from Hostel (Jay Hernandez) trapped inside some debris, which, to their belief, might last, oh let’s say…a year.
Re: New Years. Plans are so tentative at the moment, it makes me want to put a spork into my eye. What is a spork, you ask—why, it’s that plastic utensil you get at fast food joints that is part spoon, part fork—hence, the term: spork.
I’m at the point where I’m starting to think about resolutions, and it always comes down to the same things: work out more, quit smoking, find a REAL job, etc. But this year, I’m thinking my resolutions need to be on a smaller scale, more practical everyday kind of things: for example—Yesterday in New York City, I was walking through Time’s Square around six or so, and it was the most congested I’ve ever seen it. After I lit a cigarette, I took the first few puffs, and shortly after, this annoying girl made a coughing sound, like one of those OVERDRAMATIC coughing noises and then shot me this look like I was the only asshole smoking in all of Manhattan, which, you know, looking around me, seeing all the happy smokers, wasn’t true, so, in return to said gesture, I threw my match at her coat when she turned her back.
In short, my list of resolutions should begin with:
1. Do not throw matches at people on the streets of Manhattan.
2. Learn to become more comfortable with taking a #2 in a public place.
3. Start my morning off with a bowl of cereal instead of a xanax.
4. Finish novel.
5. Stop paying for my $1.39 coffee at PCJ with a credit card.
6. Try to form a semi-civil bond with MaryEllen’s cat Oliver.
7. Listen to less Black Crowes.
8. Get to bed at a reasonable hour.
9. Watch less television.
10. Hopefully not be writing this same exact list in, oh let’s say…a year…from now, this is.
So, once again, my apologies for those who were planning on attending the show at the Brighton. I’m pretty bummed about it, but these things happen.
On one final note: a happy, peaceful, and safe New Year to everyone. Momentary Lapse of Reason has survived an interesting year, one of excitement, suspense, drama, boredom, loyalty, obsession, among other oddities that will go unmentioned due to reasons beyond my control, but I look forward to another year of blogging, and I promise to go Beta soon—I know, I’m like the last one.
What to expect on this blog in 2007:
1. Operation Toro – this is, Me, the Kid, Justin and Dave heading to Europe at the end of May for about 3 weeks to rendezvous with fellow MFA alums Eli and Kate, along with the other strange creatures that cross our paths in London, Amsterdam, Paris, and Barcelona. Much Much more on this as it approaches.
2. More stories about fish.
3. More talk about how if my second novel doesn’t find a publisher, I am cutting off my legs and joining the midget circus—which you can watch on You-Tube.
4. More research into why the term ‘midget’ is politically incorrect.
5. A new blog under my account completely dedicated to my enormous………..bootleg collection, of course. (You dirty minds).
6. Reasons about how I’m comfortable that it’s not, in fact, enormous, but a decent size…….my bootleg collection, that is.
7. Try to be more entertaining and consistent with providing you a window into my S O U L.
I have faith in my future and faith in yours—let’s all get famous and make a movie together, which may or may not include my enormous…….bootleg collection as the soundtrack. I’m serious. We’re making it—it’s on IMDB right now. Production claims to start in, oh, let’s say…a year.
Peace in 2007. Love in 2008. Train People as Pets in 2009. I love you all. I really really love you all.
xo,
T.
Pointless Whatevers
H O L I D A Z E D - Part One
It’s been a blur of fever chills, herbal refreshments, good wine, late nights, Quick Check subs, too many cigarettes, relatives in every direction, and a fuckload of writing in between. This little December run is treating me fine, creatively speaking--living hard, writing hard, and relaxing hard…or something like that.
(12.24.06 - Sparta, NJ, The GQ shot, of course. Christmas in the NJ mountains--yes, Jersey has mountains.)
(12.24.06 - Sparta, NJ - The cousins. I assure you, I'm the outcast artsy writer type who doesn't hold down a real job).
The car ride to Sparta started off with some holiday-blend coffee, a few Xannies, and some Tori Amos on the I-Pod. Yes, indeed, I finally joined the Pod people this Christmas thanks to my father. We got a little lost along the way and sort of drove in circles, but the lakes and mountains were isolated and calming--the best detour. And Tori’s cover of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” is excellent by the way.
(12.24.06 - Sparta, NJ - The Kid shows off his skills).
So, not to brag or anything, but I’m sort of a ping pong magician who managed to kick everyone’s ass this holiday season. I’ll also whip your ass in air hockey if we should meet. “We” is very broad in this case, but I think a nice friendly game of pong or air hockey is the perfect battle for any problem.
Flash forward to Christmas Day. The Kid and I were abandoned and left alone to our own devices, which mainly consisted of wake and bake, meticulously sorting through the Chinese food take-out menu, then to discover said restaurant was closed, followed by the necessary pharmaceuticals to cope with the news, until finally journeying out to find an open Chinese food take-out place, which turned out successful in the end. Egg roll in hand, we watched The Deer Hunter and mumbled too many comments about how incredibly beautiful Meryl Streep (spelling??) looked in the late 70s or is it 80s--anyway, Russian roulette is some twisted shit.
(12.27.06 - Time's Square, NYC - Shot from the 8th floor of the Marriott, Atrium Longue)
Strolled into the city to meet up with Mel for an Off-Broadway play. We saw Spring Awakening, which was excellent--music by Duncan Sheik, sexually confused German teenagers from the 1900s having sex, committing suicide, and figuring out the meaning behind their lives--priceless. Nice front row balcony seats. This play is a must see.
(12.27.06 - Mel and I, shortly after lunch at Becco. If you haven't eaten at Becco, do so now. No really. Go now. 355 West 46th Street - 212-397-7597.)
(12.27.06 The third annual Rockefeller Center--yeah, that’s right 3rd. Could there be a rock on the finger by the 4th??? Hmmmmmmmm.)
More details on Friday's Brighton Bar show to come. And Part 2 of course - The New Year's Mission.
.................Ugh
Sick. Feel like I'm dying. Christmas Eve Day. Rock on. In Recovery. Lots of meds. My apologies. "Dick in a Box" is the funniest thing I've seen all year. Call me and send your healing powers.
Brighton Bar confirmed for Friday Dec. 29th
Looks like I'll be joining Exit 117 again on Friday, December 29th for a performace at the Brighton Bar in Long Branch, NJ. The pre-end of the year bash. I don't have the exact details--when we go on, etc, but the date is set. I'll post more when I know. For the Jersey crew, I look forward to seeing some of you...
I'm heading to the Garden State this Monday. Pointless posts to follow. I tend to post more when I'm on vacation.
Would love to see whoever's around.
Predicktions
So, the semester is coming to a close, and it’s sucking me of the three brain cells I have left, but in a week, all of my papers will be graded, and I can devote the rest of this year to working on my novel. I’m also thinking of taking up alcoholism as a hobby. Heading to New Jersey soon, will be staying through the New Year, I think, pending, hopefully playing another show with Exit 117 at The Brighton on Friday, December 29th (No official confirmation yet).
Presently, I’m between tutoring appointments and feeling unbalanced, that is, because I lost a contact this morning, and my blind sorry ass has to figure out how to drive home with vision in left eye only. Granted, it’s a short trip, but I’m a blind bastard. I ALWAYS bring my glasses with me, but of course, on this occasion, I did not—figures.
I’m starting to wonder what’s in store for next year. Most of you know, I’ve applied to about 30 faculty positions all over the United States, my plans to have my novel finished by the Dec 31st are deteriorating, and my bank account is dying of starvation. Though I must say, although the novel is moving slower than I’d like, mostly due to my insane work schedule, it’s coming along nicely—I suppose these things can’t be rushed. Hopefully I’ll have it done in the next 2 months or so, which I think is reasonable, but you know, first it was the end of August, then the end of the year, and now, I’m looking at the end of January. Ugh. We’ll see.
Today I’m reminded of why I’m in this field. I worked with an ESL student today who spoke little English, and by the end, I really felt like I made a difference, which actually made me feel like a good person, as opposed to a bitter, cynical paycheckless, moping prick you’re all so kind to. The little rewards can go far, and sometimes they’re needed in order to see past the day to day struggle, to see past the student loan final notice that keeps showing up in the mail, to see past the stack of rejection letters, to see past the exhaustion and writer’s block, to see past my expectations for the new Rocky movie (coming to theaters this Christmas).
In the end, when BLOG is sold, when Eli Roth, Wes Craven, or John Carpenter adapts the book into a screenplay, when the mysterious relative I don’t know gives me a hefty inheritance, while Mel and I are living on a vineyard in Tuscany, I’ll still bitch and moan on this pathetic blog, probably about why the price of grapes and goat cheese are reaching costs of unreasonable, unethical, and epic proportions. And you’ll all be like, “T. was sort of moody but endearing when he was poor, and now, he’s just sort of a dick.”
PS:3 or 4 Items is not difficult...
I’m sorry to be away for so long, but after the Brighton Bar show I had acquired an advance demo of PS3, and since then, have been kept in a dark closet somewhere in South Dakota and poked with sticks between my servings of moldy bread and water.
What the fuck is the world coming to? This is why I cannot allow my life to ever be controlled by video games, let alone me controlling them. People are getting shot, beaten, and harassed all over the country so they can hook up a gaming system that allows them to shoot, beat, and harass other gamers via online linking over the internet. Has anyone tried to sue Sony yet? I feel like it’s the next logical step. To hear this actually happened near campus was horrible.
Other things that baffle me these days: Has anyone seen that commercial for the small digital recorder that helps you remember certain things you need ‘to do’, instead of making a handwritten list. The commercial starts with an old lady who can’t find her car in a mall parking lot, and then she holds this little device up to her ear, which echoes back her voice, “Blue Section, Lot 23,” followed by her relieved nod. Granted this is the only valid scenario where this device would help. The other example from the same commercial, which just really gets under my skin, is when a woman is going through her refrigerator and then records her voice, “Milk, eggs, butter, and juice.” Then she clicks it off.
I mean, if you were going to the grocery store for fucking milk, eggs, butter, and juice, common sense tells me that these items are pretty fucking common, specific, and easy to remember. The next clip is the same woman standing in the grocery store, totally confused out of her skull, until she lifts this device to her ear, which repeats, “Milk, eggs, butter, and juice,” which is followed by this overwhelming smile, a mixture of relief and stupidity, one that indicates, “Oh my God, I totally had no idea why the fuck I was here.”
I can understand if she was shopping for crushed silver almonds, thyme, yellow and orange peppers, a toilet plunger, tissues, the new John Grisham paperback, toilet cleanser, garbage bag twisty ties, the special herbal green tea that her mother likes, a tire iron, and detergent—these, of course, being items that have little or no relation, and might be hard to remember all of them, but fucking milk, eggs, butter and juice?? Come on!
As soon as I get out of this closet, I plan on doing something about this. Pronto!
